So…. (sigh), there are some days when life throws something at you that knocks the wind out of you. Monday was one of those days for me. Caught me so off guard that I was blank. In the eternity that transpired before I could catch my next breath, I stood in a vacuum. There was nothing going on in my head, nothing going on in my heart – not one thought, not one emotion. I did not know what to say or think or feel or do or pray. I did not cry; I just stared vacantly.

And then I began to thaw and my brain started clickin’ out questions; it was still a while later that my heart began to spew out a buffet of emotions: angry, sad, worried, afraid, and then angry again. And then sad again. A Lazy Susan of feelings served up in rapid succession.

And then I got on my face and sought Truth over the issue and wept.

And then I scurried. I got busy being busy. I’m a fairly frequent runner, so I outran my thoughts and feelings and questions and worries for the rest of the day. Best workout I’ve had in a while. There was a grey blur of emotional “stuff” that followed in close behind as I zigzagged through my day. Bobbing and weaving and running, and I have to say that they never caught me. I scurried from one random activity to another just keepin’ the lead. Frantic but out in front of the pack.

There was a fatal flaw in my plan; I eventually had to stop – late that night. Exhausted. As I finally lay down around 1:30 am, they caught me and attacked viciously. My eyes would not close; my soul would not settle; my mind would not stop. I slept little.

Yesterday I moved slower in a healthier state of processing. I marinated in it all day and continually sought Help.

Today I am digesting.

May I ambiguously ask for your prayers? He knows where they need to be applied.

I have a favorite sound at the gym; it’s the sound of two runners pounding it out on the treadmill to the same pace and rhythm – particularly if I am one of the runners. I have encountered a fitness phenomenon this summer that delights me when it happens.

On two separate occasions this summer I’ve been on a treadmill and a stranger has taken up post at the machine beside me; there’s nothing unusual about that but they both ran pretty good distances at a pace I could keep. In both instances we eventually got into the same step, and it was exhilarating. I felt like I could hammer it out all day in step with my neighbor, and I was able to run my longest distances of the summer on those two days. Today the guy next to me stopped eleven minutes before I was set to be done, and I wanted to turn to him and shout, “What do you think you’re doing? Don’t you quit on me now. Move it, buddy; we ain’t done yet.” But I resisted – although it would have been too funny.

I’m sure there’s application here. Is there somebody in your life who inspires you just by their proximity and their activity? Is there somebody who pushes you as they push themselves to do more, to last longer, to finish well? And I’m not speaking to comparison. When I compare my appearance or my workout to others at the gym, I am quickly discouraged and disheartened. And I’m not just talking about fitness. I’m talking about people who inspire you to be a better you because they are authentic and doing their thing in a way that challenges you.

My observation: It’s easier to pound it out and push ourselves in the company of others who are doing the same; I happen to believe the converse of that is true as well…