Everyday Observations

Like yours, my life is noisy. Carson got a singing Hannah Montana doll and card and a singing Ariel card for her birthday, so she and Campbell were well armed with noisemakers as we left Savannah earlier today. I did step up as the party pooper and nixed all of the plans for a very Hannah Montana ride home.

But before we left, the girls went to the store and to see the ducks with Granddaddy and Gran-Gran. I was upstairs gathering our things when I noticed it. Everything was still and quiet. No appliances whirring. No birds chirping. Silence. And I just sat down for a few minutes to listen. Not to think – just to listen.

There’s something about experiencing God in absolute silence. I experience Him differently when I am singing my heart out in praise than when I am surrounded by the beauty of Creation than when I am in silence. Not that He changes; I am just drawn to different aspects of His character in different settings. During my own “getting my worship on” sessions I am overtaken by His soveriegnty, His omnipotence, His goodness, His grace, His forgiveness. The evidence of God in nature leaves me filled with wonder, amazed at His attention to detail, His creativity, His perfection, His beauty. I am awestruck as I notice the growth of spring, peer up at the mountains, or stare endlessly over the ocean from the shore.

But silence speaks to me of His comfort, His peace, His companionship. And I just feel like I don’t have to do anything or say anything or try to hear anything from Him. Just be with Him. It’s exactly like riding in the car with Chris, being glad to be with him, enjoying his presence, and feeling perfectly comfortable to be quiet and be together.

Sometimes I try to plan silence, but it’s usually shattered by a dog barking, construction workers sawing, phones ringing, or UPS men buzzing the doorbell. And there are other times when I just become aware of it – like this morning. It was like this sweet, little, perfect gift that I found tucked away out of plain view and was able to keep it all to myself.

I’m back!! And I just had a week that was as close to exam week in college as anything I have experienced in the past decade. With the husband out of town and three articles due, I very easily fell back into “exam week mode,” which I thought was pretty interesting given the amount of time that has passed since that season in my life.

Similarities from the past week and my typical exam week in college:

• Sleep deprivation – I went to bed anywhere between midnight and 2:00 am. In college, I always saved my serious studying or writing for the wee hours.
• Total junk eating habits – I was totally eating a meal at midnight and chasing it with my caffeine-laden DP. I’m calling Dr. Collins this week to have my girls’ cholesterol checked; I am sure we clogged at least one artery this past week.
• Very little exercise – I exercised once this past week, but little to no exercise was my standard all during college – not just exam week.
• Living on adrenaline in the glazed stare fog – Do you know that feeling? I was so tired and had consumed so much caffeine over the course of days that if I wasn’t studying or writing I just sat in one place, staring straight ahead without blinking. Very freakish, actually! Are you worried for the safety of my children? They’re alive and well – by the grace of God!
• Disregard for my appearance – Now I use to take this one to the extreme in college, but this time around I just dressed for comfort every day – something that would comfortably accomodate the fact that I was eating full meals at midnight. Ouch!
• That indescribable feeling when it’s all done: freedom, lightness, giddyness, relief, and a desire to just celebrate good times (come on…).

Differences this time around:

• TWO CHILDREN!
• I did shower every day, and I did at least wear a different shirt every day, I think. Don’t hold me to that one. In college, I totally embraced the same outfit for pretty much the whole week and honestly took few showers during exams. Waste of time, you know…
• No naps during the day this time around:(
• No books to sell at an absolutely ridiculous return at the end of the week in order to treat myself to Taco Bell (Oh, you can only give me $1.50 for this $475 book. Sounds good to me, just get it out of my sight, and I’ll take extra cheese and sauce on that soft taco…, thank you very much!)

Glad to be back. Glad my articles are done. Glad I’m a thirty-four year old wife and mom instead of the crazed, unhealthy, psycho I was in college!

I’m forever looking for ways to make my life more efficient – because efficiency is not one of my strong suits. Deliberate? Yes. Meticulous? Often. Slow? Yes, yes, yes! And I’ve confessed that I’m not a multi-tasker, so I like to think about things I could cut out of my life all together. Upon meditating on that, I have come upon a few things that I have come to classify as complete acts of futility. For example,

• Mopping the kitchen floor when you have a preschooler and a kindergartner – We could seriously feed a small country with what I sweep off the floor.
• Wearing make-up during the summer in South Carolina – When I wear make-up during the summer, my beautified face melts into a puddle in my lap within nanoseconds of walking outside.
• Plucking my eyebrows – Plucking is painful and causes the darn things to be fruitful and multiply. How counterproductive is that?

Lest you think this is a woman thing, Chris takes a shower before he cuts the grass. Go figure…

So what in your life is a total act of futility but you continue to do it anyway (because you have to or because you choose to)? Something that you do that is almost immediately undone as soon as you do it? I look forward to hearing from you…