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Everyday Observations

April

What lies ahead… (Part Two)

As I have continued to process the thoughts behind my last post, I kinda came to a conclusion that this season of such unmerited blessing (our Monday night Bible study has grown 60% in two weeks with five or six different churches represented, and I did nothing to cause that. I didn’t even do anything to help that happen. I didn’t even pray for that to happen. In fact, we were discussing disbanding so that we could all be involved in the summer activities of our respective churches. God is blowin’ the doors off it, and I consider it one of the coolest blessings ever to see Him take it over and do His thing, but I digress...)…

I was saying that this season of blessing is part of the preparation for the tears ahead. To store up personal experiences with His goodness, His faithfulness, His grace, His forgiveness, His attentiveness, His strength, His wisdom, His timing and to draw from that when I need it.

I am thankful He is preparing me, and I am having a blast along the way. More fun than I have ever had.

April

What lies ahead…

I am standing in the greatest season of blessing of my life. God has allowed me to see Him move in absolutely astounding ways. He is affirmatively answering specific prayers left and right; I can barely wrap my brain around it. It’s humbling.

But every now and then I stand toe to toe with the fear of what lies ahead. Hardship. Pain. Loss. Illness (the ounce of worldly superstition that lives in my pinky toe is terrified to type this for fear of speeding the fulfillment of this truth).

I think it’s good to have a keen awareness of how God is blessing me, to constantly acknowledge how undeserving I am of His favor, to bless others out of my gratitude, and to maintain a healthy understanding of how this life process, this growth process works. God will allow pain into my life to sharpen me, to draw me into complete dependence and trust, to further purify me, and to render me more effective in ministry to others. That’s just the deal.

I know my God’s character well enough to build my life on His faithfulness and goodness, but often times knowledge doesn’t automatically change behavior. Much like the fact that people continue to smoke even though they are aware it causes cancer, someone as friendly with fear as I am still has to wrestle with this issue often.

Easy livin’ eventually leads to sloppy spirituality. I can’t remember where I read that, but it’s truth in my life. That’s scary to me, but I am seeking a healthy balance in my view of God’s blessings.

And I am praying regularly to be prepared for what lies ahead…

April

That’s How I Roll…

I looked in the mirror yesterday around lunchtime and found that I was wearing only one earring. No, the other one wasn’t lost. No, the other one hadn’t fallen out during the morning chaos, but thank you for trying to excuse my absentmindedness. I had simply put in one earring and gone right about my business.

I had dropped off Campbell at school and volunteered in Carson’s class, and no one said anything. Chances are they didn’t notice; it’s not a big deal really. But it is indicative of how I move through some days – haphazard and scattered.

But, you know, it’s like a ten year-old snowboarder told my husband when Chris complimented his funky ski hat, “That’s how I roll…”

So there, most of the time I’m a crazed nut case mom with my one earring; french fries, crayons, cups, and drawings rolling out of my car door when it’s opened; speeding like a bullet everywhere I go to reach the unattainable goal of actually being on time somewhere; and sporting some kind of food stain at all times.

But you what, that’s how I roll..

March

Turn on the music…

Okay, okay, okay. So the word regularly (as in the sentence I do commit to blog regularly) is a very subjective term. What is the meaning of the word regularly… Anyway, I’m trying to create this blogging habit, but I obviously don’t have it programmed into my daily routine as of yet. Bear with me… (I love ellipsis marks; they rock at conveying a thoughtful pause in writing – YES, I AM A DORK!).

Anyway, on to life observations.

My children are not often in the car when it is dark outside. We are a pretty structured, routine-driven family, and my children are generally at home getting ready for bed as the sun sets. Therefore, Campbell, our two year-old, is a little freaked out when she can’t see anything in the car because it’s dark outside. The other night she said, “Hey, I can’t see any fing; somebody turn on the music!” Which totally cracked me up. I still think that’s just too funny.

Now, I honestly do think she was trying to convey two totally separate thoughts, but the illogic of that sentence has stuck in my brain. But you know, I’m guilty too. I’ll say, “I’m stressed; cut me a piece of 75 layer chocolate cake, pronto!” or “I feel buried and overwhelmed by all that I need to do; I’m going to take a nap.” Yep, that’s me. Talk about illogical. The action that I take doesn’t at all address the problem at hand. Sure, it feels better, but it doesn’t make a lick of sense and is actually counterproductive. I don’t know why I do that; I’m sure there’s some deep-seated emotional trauma that warped my thinking, but I don’t care to delve into that.

In this season of my life, I just want to do what’s best, even if it’s what’s hardest. And that’s usually the case, you know, the best course of action is usually the hardest of your options – not the most fun, the easiest, or what feels the best. That sucks, but I am learning the pay-off in the end is soooooooo worth it – always.

Long live the ellipsis…

March

If it had been a snake…

Don’t you love that Southern saying: “If it had been a snake it would’ve bit ya.” Had one of those experiences this morning:

I dressed at the gym yesterday, so I was unpacking my toiletries bag as I beautified this morning. I couldn’t find my comb. My purple and turquoise wide-tooth comb that I have had well over ten years. I was ticked at the thought that I had left it at the gym. It would probably still be there today, but then I would think it was gross because somebody may have used it… Funky! Anyway it wouldn’t be the same.

Well, I continued to apply my make-up, etc…, out of my bag – my bag with clear pockets. When I was almost done, I saw my comb in one of the middle pockets. Right there in plain view. I must have looked at it like twenty times while I retrieved various supplies, and I absolutely never saw it.

Jesus talked about those who see but do not perceive. My eyes saw the comb, but my brain didn’t perceive it. I don’t want to be that person. Do I see a dark, lonely, hopeless world around me and not perceive it? Do I have eyes that don’t see? Do I look into the faces of people who are far from the Lord every day and not even perceive their need or their despair.

I do, but it is so my heart’s desire to be different.