Mixed Bag

We are not sissies.

Or whiners.

We’re not quitters.

Or victims.

Here’s to doing the hard things in 2017.

I don’t really subscribe to the New Year’s resolution. In fact, I have vegetables in my refrigerator that will outlast most of the declarations of change blowing on the wind today.

But I am a sucker for a good starting point. The writer in me likes a rich, symbolic beginning: birthdays, anniversaries, the start of school or summer, the start of a new job…………and a new year.

So…..I’m wondering……can we make a collective commitment here for 2017? Something akin to a group resolution? Perhaps if we do it together, we might actually see it through to some sort of success. A support group for strong women who want to be stronger. If we could all persist in doing one thing that could make the most dramatic difference in our lives in the next twelve months, I think it would be this…

I will do the hard things.

This single determination will decide the impact of our 2017.

Hands down.

Without question.

So what is the landscape of “the hard things”? They’re the things that live on an incline. They’re hard to reach, and your inner naysayer will venomously suggest they require more than you have.

But you are stronger than you know. And you will only touch that by testing the bounds. By pushing you harder than you ever have.

It may look like getting healthy, losing weight, making better food choices, exercising self-discipline, running a 10K.

It may look like intentionally loving and serving a hard, distant spouse while allowing Jesus to fill your need to be loved and protected. It may look like choosing to forgive a cheating spouse for your own freedom and health. It may look like marriage counseling – with or without your spouse.

That’s the hard thing.

It may look like brave, honest, scary, big steps to beat an addiction. Maybe it’s checking yourself into rehab.

It may look like opening your mouth to someone you trust to say, “I’m drowning and I need help.” And then following through with difficult action steps.

It may be the heavy lifting of faith. Believing what we know when our feelings are screaming something different. Such unreliable wretches our feelings are.

If it feels like it may kill you, you’re probably on the right track.

It may be removing yourself from social media because the comparison and the falsehood devours your soul.

It may be doing the thing that terrifies you.

Maybe it’s a difficult confession. A secret that imprisons you with fear and lies. If I know anything, I know the haunt of the hidden. And the healing that is possible with its release.

It may be committing to get up and shower and dress every morning when the depression beckons you to stay in bed. To go outside and walk around the block for fresh air. To go to dinner with friends. When you feel like every step and every breath is a slogging through the mud of heaviness and hopelessness.

It may be making huge sacrifices to get out of debt.

It may be a dogged persistence to awaken at 5:30 to spend time with Jesus. And don’t dare tell me you can’t. We do what’s important to us. It will take a while to create that habit, so don’t cop out the first week with, “I just can’t.” Rubbish. You can do it, friend.

I will do the hard things.

And if we do great for ten days and suck on Day 11. Then we get our butts up on Day 12 and get back after it.

And if we suck for the whole month of April. Then we start again on May 1.

It’s really not how many days we win that will determine our success. It’s what we do the day after we fail that will. Failure is part of the process. Expect it. Use it. If we allow it to fuel our efforts, we will last for the long haul.

That’s the hard thing.

That’s how we change.

That’s how we LIVE.

We were made to do hard things, but we coddle our lazy, scared selves and call it self-preservation. We call it our right. We claim it as our luxury. Frightfully, we may even call it wisdom. When it’s deluded self-sabotage.

We were fashioned to do hard things.

We will dig deep, friends.

And there will be two vital principles we must espouse for success.

1. I will not despise the day of small beginnings (Zechariah 4:10). This is the graveyard of dreams and goals. Look around; the headstones mark the heart’s desires of millions. In loud, showy, sparkly, sexy, BIG America, we have lost respect for the small, good thing. We think our “thing” is only valid if it impresses thousands, costs thousands, or helps thousands. Garbage. The new American Dream (big on fast, short on effort) is a societal construct not consistent with our inner fabric. Newly married couples should have houses furnished with hand-me-downs not debt. Folks trying to lose weight should celebrate two pounds a week. Folks following a dream have to wake up, believe, and work hard even when that twenty-four hours holds no signs of progress. We cannot languish in the days of small beginnings; we cannot underestimate the impact of simply sticking with a thing day after day.
2. I will have a long-term goal with a short-term perspective. We must daily slay the temptation to feel overwhelmed. For instance, my body is vertically challenged and bent towards roundness. If I told myself, “You have to eat healthy and exercise for the rest of your life if you want to maintain a healthy weight,” I would want to quit before I started. That sounds daunting and terrible. But if I just have to do it today, that feels totally doable. I can exercise and eat healthy for one day. And then I wake up tomorrow and tell myself the same thing. Because a whole bunch of todays stapled together make a month. They make a new habit. They make a changed life.

Whatever your “thing” is for the next season of life, fight on, fierce one. I’m cheering you on all the way. I’m believing in you even when you’re not. I’ve got faith you can borrow. Because you were made for better things.

And we will not be selfish in the fight. We will not get up simply to make our lives more palatable. To be happier. To focus on me, me, me. We will use our strength to help and serve and love.

And, in the end, we will find ourselves happier, more whole, more fulfilled than we ever dreamed possible.

Here’s to doing the hard things in 2017.