Ouch! Yeah, the truth…
Hurts 🙁 I value truth. I am not always jazzed about the truth, and I often can’t swallow it very easily. But I do try to be sensitive and open to encounters with it – even when its taste is offensive and bitter.
Monday was one of those days where I had a week’s worth of obligations crammed into one day – all fun stuff that I was excited to do but still just one of those days when life and circumstances and responsibilities ask a lot of you. I am sad to say that I can even sweat the fun stuff. So when I have to go without an interval of collection and reflection during the day, I am a terror. Hence, on these occasions I judiciously limit interaction with others. Unfortunately my fam doesn’t enjoy that option. On Monday the girls and I were a train wreck. We sassed each other; we spoke sharply and negatively; we were eating each other alive. And I just found myself at a complete loss for what to do. The girls weren’t obeying me; they were yelling at each other non-stop, and I was doling out punishments left and right. I was at a loss…
Out of pure desperation, I asked the girls to come sit with me in the floor to pray – during which time I began to cry. If they thought I was nuts, they didn’t say so, but things improved after that. Tuesday was phenomenally better! I praised Carson at bedtime for her improved attitude, and you know what she said to me. She said, “You just needed to get it together and then we would.” Oh, yes she did…
I patiently retracted my compliment, addressed her insubordination, and accepted her apology. But it was not until this morning when I was asking God for the grace and the patience and the forgiveness and the wisdom to parent today that I realized that Carson had nailed me with truth last night. Though her tone and intentions were disrespectful and unappreciated, she was dead on. She spoke truth to me, and I will choose to receive it.
I taught high school long enough to know that on days I walked in with a crummy attitude it was invariably reciprocated by my students. I set the tone for interaction in my classroom. I set the tone for interaction within my family.
That’s not to say that I won’t totally bomb tomorrow, but at least I can come at this issue with a little different perspective.
Ah yeah, sometimes the truth does hurt…
Cookie, thank you so much for sharing that! I often feel as I’m the only one who struggles with what you experienced Monday night. I love that Carson is wise enough to know and speak the truth and that you were humble enough to accept it, of course after speaking to her about the tone in which it was said. 🙂 I’ve realized that a lot of the problems Owen and I have are obviously stemmed from me and the hard part is to realize it during that moment and take care of it. As mothers we need to set the tone in our home, to be a safe haven for our children and our husbands. After a long day of work or running the kids here, there and everywhere it’s hard to continue keeping it together for everyone when what you really need is for someone to keep it together for you…which i’ve realized just isn’t going to happen. Praying your day is wonderful, your tone is positive and your girls are positive back! 🙂
The hardest and best thing I’m learning in life is when to turn on a dime and admit wrong. My kids have helped me do that. I think they sometimes say (really loud) what God is whispering~
Peace today Cookie 🙂
I loved this post. I so agree with every word. My boys and I can easily get into a pattern of this if I become a train wreck. I too have sat on the floor and cried and prayed with my boys. We try and start the day togther and pray over the day. Makes a world of difference…
Thanks for sharing and being honest.
Amanda
It really hurts when it is said to you by a mentally retarded child that has severe emotional and behavioral problems. I have had to learn to leave whatever is going on in my life behind when I deal with them. It doesn’t mean that some days I don’t totally bomb out and there have been days when I have had to go back and tell a kid that how I handled a situation was wrong. It kills my pride but in the end I earn a little bit of respect from kids.
Love it!Your transparency as usual is so refreshing and I breath a big sigh! as I relate to the incident:) Have been in a funk for a week and it so affects my little and big men. Reminds me that I HAVE to be on my face before the Father during these times. One of the things I love most about my parents is how they taught us to admit where we are wrong,ask forgiveness, and start fresh. I was part of a MOPS Bible study last year and Becca the leader gave us each a key with a hot pink plastic cover to put on our key chain to remind us that we are THE KEY to our families mood, tone and attitude. I still have it on their to try and keep me straight. Great post!
Seems as if Carson has a way with words, just like her Mom 🙂 And I am not talking about sass….I am talking about being able to observe a situation and eloquently…..with words… call it like she sees it!
Kudos to you for taking your frustation to the Lord and including your kids in on the process…they need to know we melt down, over heat, and make mistakes….but more importantly, that we have a loving Father who hears us, loves us, and helps us….especially when we ask!