A smile may be the most costly gift a woman has to offer.

I recently scribbled a message in a birthday card for a delightful young lady celebrating her 24th birthday. The cover was ornate, drawn by a friend, and the inside was filled with well wishes and love. The birthday girl spent her big day in jail. And given her charge, she may pass all of her remaining birthdays there.

I don’t know the circumstances of her life or the details surrounding the event that landed her in an orange jumpsuit. What I know of her is that she seems shy with bright eyes and a radiant smile. She is most often tucked in the fold of two older inmates I am especially fond of. We hug and cry and laugh and shoot straight and recite Scripture together each Sunday morning. All three are sitting under the heaviest of charges.

To the world, these ladies – with their mug shots and rap sheets – are disposable.

Most of the time I think, “It’s no wonder they are here. It’s absolutely no wonder…” And I even ponder, “Are we – to some degree – responsible? How have we reached down to the sector of disadvantage and loved like Jesus?”  I’m not talking about episodes of charity; I’m talking about a commitment to deliverance.

This is the same weight I hauled back from Kenya. I was despondent for two months after my return. I was heartbroken by the likelihood that I would return to my middle class white girl ignorance. And I did. Mainly because I didn’t know what to do. How to be different in a world that defines hardship as having a PC instead of a Mac.

The problem is too big, I thought.

There isn’t enough money, I reasoned. Or enough time…

But if I am honest I don’t think those excuses are going to hold water when we answer for our lives.

Something inside of me is broken for marginalized women. Disposable women. But my thing doesn’t have to be your thing.

God cares about orphans and widows, prisoners and the poor, the oppressed, the abused and the mourning. Pick one.

And I don’t think we get to throw money at an issue and feel released. Because if money were the answer, the wealthiest people in our society would be the healthiest. And that just isn’t so.

If we want to make a difference, we have to get out where it’s scary. And raw. And beautiful.

Jesus fought for the fringe.

He ministered to those in the margin.

He dignified the disposable.

So as we wade into the the holiday season of gratitude and joy and peace, I’d like to suggest some ideas for a different kind of Christmas. The kind that might afford a smile to a disposable woman.

Buy Christmas gifts from organizations helping others. We’re going to spend the money anyway….why not choose gifts that directly benefit the disadvantaged?

• Thistle Farms is a residential program in Nashville for those surviving abuse, addiction, trafficking, and prostitution. My daughter’s teachers are receiving candles poured and wicked by the ladies who benefit from this program. They sell an assortment of cool gift items, and my new favorite tee, “Love Heals,” came from TF.
• Punjammies are on my own Santa list; they are pajama bottoms made by women in India who have escaped trafficking. Sudara also carries fun tees for girls, mamas, and dudes. And all purchases help keep women out of the sex trade.
• This article highlights other brands fighting trafficking.
• And if you are local to the lower part of SC, I direct you to De Baz in Hartsville. Your purchases can help empower women in Ethiopia, help fight poverty in Guatemala, support families in Ecuador, and provide income and safe work environments for women in Nepal – just to name a few.

Create a plan for getting involved as a family. Have a date night or family meeting at Starbucks – with red cups in hand – and discuss your passions and opportunities, do research and plan a next step.

• Come alongside someone barely scrapping out an existence. Not so much where you supply Thanksgiving dinner and an overwhelming load of gifts. But where you invite them to your table. On a regular basis. A single mom. A teen mom. A struggling young couple. A widow. A divorced father. Get involved in their lives for the long haul. Build real relationships that provide legitimate support.
• Get involved in the education of someone fighting for a chance. Education is a subversive attack on poverty.
• Jump in at your local homeless shelter or soup kitchen and invest in people there on a regular basis. Hang out there on Tuesday nights and love them well. Help them make connections with job opportunities. Prepare and share a meal with them. Locals, Whosoever Community Church would love to have you there building relationships, especially since resident numbers will spike with the colder temperatures.

PS. If this is going to be a difficult holiday season, I double dog strongly encourage you to dive in to helping someone else. On some of my darkest days of depression, I forced myself – quite unwillingly – to get up and help someone outside of my family. It is medicine.

Send some dollars outside of the US to help efforts abroad and to tender your heart for the world. There are tons of organizations doing great work all over the globe; you’ll encounter no shortage there. I personally know the world changer, Rachel Keefe, and know her to be an amazing steward of God’s call on her life. If you choose to donate, you will enable her to continue doing ministry – loving on beautiful kiddos in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. You can best follow her heart and her journey on Facebook.

And I know the final point is a jarring conclusion to this list but, to me, it’s so in line with the heart of this post.

Please stop supporting the porn industry. Porn addiction has become a quiet epidemic. Even in the church. Among men and women. My words are saturated in nothing but love and grace. My own sin is great. Ladies, I know you abhor the clutch this addiction has on you, but it will not fill the emptiness gnawing your insides.

Porn is sex trade.

Fellas, the girl on your screen is being sold. You are the buyer. I am aware that its an addictive tool used by Satan to dismantle your faith, to trap you in secrets and shame. But there’s also more at stake. There is no chance that in the little girl’s heart that still beats beneath the charade she likes what she’s doing. There was a juncture in her life where she felt she had no other choice. Even if it was when she was five and somebody decided her innocence was theirs for the taking.

Please do whatever it takes to be free. For your sake and hers.

Because…

Jesus fought for the fringe.

He ministered to those in the margin.

He dignified the disposable.

[Beautiful images: Rafa Puerta, himadri 48, Geraint Rowland, Adam Cohn, Rakesh JV, CiaoHo, Vee]